Secrets of Communication

[Объединенное Детективное Бюро]

Can communication skills be improved? Of course! Here are some tips to help you with this:

Listen

Do not be like most people who, instead of listening carefully to their interlocutor, are only waiting for their turn to speak. Learn to listen to others. It can be very interesting.

Don't ask too many questions

If you ask too many questions in a conversation, your interlocutor will feel like being interrogated. Dilute them with conversation. For example, if the question: “What did you do on the weekend?” you got the answer: “Played football”, talk a little about football.

Be yourself

When the topics of conversation are exhausted, there comes an awkward silence that everyone hates. This is a very unpleasant moment that you can avoid. How?

* Do not leave the house without reading the newspaper. Discussing the latest news will always help you fill out an awkward pause in a conversation. Stay on top of the latest developments. Try to keep your awareness across a wide range of areas - from the weather for tomorrow to the events of the latest Lost series.
* You can always start a conversation about what surrounds you: about the interlocutor’s suit, about the view from the window in front of you, about the aquarium standing nearby, etc.
* If you feel embarrassed in the conversation, imagine that in front of you is your close friend. Of course, this does not mean that you should hug and kiss your interlocutor, barely getting to know him. Just try to be yourself, smile, do not be nervous, be open.

Learn to communicate your words

Sometimes it’s not what you say that matters, but how you say it. Your voice, your language and your gestures are vital elements of communication. How to handle them?

* When you talk with enthusiasm and excitement about something, your speech becomes faster and faster. Try to slow it down, otherwise your interlocutor will not understand a word.
* Speak loudly so your interlocutors can easily hear and understand you.
* Speak clearly. Do not mutter.
* Speak emotionally. Not a single person can stand a long monotonous conversation. Express your feelings in words. But do not be too emotional, otherwise it will distract the interlocutor's attention from the essence of your conversation.
* Use pauses. They allow the listener to digest the information received. In addition, pauses are a waiting time, they will make your interlocutor be more attentive.
* Develop your body language. He is very important in communication.

Do not overtighten yourself

Each participant in the conversation should have their own time to be in the spotlight. Do not interrupt a person when he expresses his point of view. Even if you do not agree with her, you will still have a chance to challenge her. Do not distract yourself. Find a balance between “listening” and “talking”.

Don't argue

Avoid disputes. There is no need to prove their case with respect to each topic raised. Often a conversation is just a conversation, not a discussion. He starts up in order to cheer up, and not in order to rekindle the conflict. Relax and enjoy the usual chatter.

Do not touch strange and negative topics.

If you just met someone, you better avoid some topics for conversation. For example: your illnesses, your bad habits, your relationship with the other half, problems at work, serial killers, etc. Also try not to use words that are not well known, such as professional jargon. Politics and religion are also best left to talk with friends. You can never know in advance how jealously your new acquaintance relates to a particular issue.

Don't bother

If you started a ten-minute monologue about your car, forgetting about your interlocutor, do not be surprised that when you are finished, you will not find anyone nearby. No matter how pleasant the topic of conversation is for you, be prepared to abandon it as soon as you feel that it is beginning to annoy others. As soon as the topic is boring to your interlocutor, change it.

One of the best ways to be an interesting conversationalist is to lead an interesting life. Focus on the positive. Do not start whining about how tired you are of your work. This is not interesting to anyone. Instead, tell us about your recent trip, a funny life story, or plans for the coming holidays.

Broaden your horizons. Knowing a little about a lot, you can always support any conversation, instead of translating it on a topic that is understandable and interesting only to you.

Another way is to be genuinely interested. Dale Carnegie said:

“You can get more friends in two months by being interested in people than you can get friends in two years trying to get people interested in yourself.”

Take the initiative

Do not be too passive. If during a conversation you will nod boredly and throw short phrases, like: “Yes, yes,” “Of course,” or “What are you saying!” your interlocutor will understand that it is not very interesting to you and is unlikely to want to continue communication. Take an interest, ask questions, react.

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[Матушкин Андрей Николаевич]

Thank!