Search for biological parents and adopted children

[Yelena]

Search for biological parents and adopted children.

My detective experience in comparison with experienced detectives, of course, is the age of the baby. Yes, and in MOD I am relatively recent. Moreover, I did not work in the authorities, but I also do not undertake complex investigations. It somehow happened that I began to look for biological parents and adopted children.

A certain algorithm of work has accumulated, several lawsuits on the first issue have been won. I will touch upon the second question a bit later. Maybe someone will say: an ungrateful and low-paid job, because those who are looking for their parents are mostly poor people and are not able to pay large sums. And is it worth it to look for those who once abandoned their child?

But the work itself is interesting, sometimes you have to think about the situation, like solving a puzzle. Only this rebus from life.

One story really shocked me. The girl asked to help find a biological mother. A Muscovite, well-to-do, grew up in a good, loving family. The adoptive mother herself told her that she was adopted and was not offended at all when the adopted daughter decided to find the one that gave her life. On my advice, the women went to one of the registry offices in Moscow, having the appropriate statement in their hands. Indeed, according to the Law, adoptive parents are allowed to receive information about the biological parents of adopted children. In the registry office, they got into trouble, they wanted to refuse, the girl was in despair. I told her to ask for a written refusal. The opinion of the representatives of the executive body immediately changed, the necessary information was provided. In the form of surname, name and patronymic of only one mother. And that’s it. Search as you want.

I know from experience that women who abandon children, as a rule, later marry and change their surname. But, nevertheless, I tried to find it in the database according to the required data. It was found, it was possible to establish the exact date of birth, as well as to find out that the woman was convicted, more than once. Served in different colonies. During one of the investigations, she got pregnant from the investigator by the very daughter who was looking for her. She gave birth in prison, went on parole, went, it was to the father of the child, but he did not accept her. After that there was a deep binge, theft, criminal record and again a colony. Grandmother at that time gave the girl to the baby's house. After a while, the girl was adopted by one prosperous childless Moscow family.

After leaving the prison, the mother was sent to pick up her daughter, but she was informed that the girl was adopted. Soon the woman got married, gave birth to two more daughters, but she was not going to change her lifestyle, and soon separated from her husband.

Again she was convicted, now for a long time. Exited exhausted, unhealthy, and soon died in one of the dens. The family did not interest her at all.

All this information was obtained thanks to the coordinated work of several colleagues, including Nail Kudashev and Alexandra Garusova, for which many thanks to them! Bit by bit they gathered information from the biography, the client was very worried, she hoped to catch her mother alive. But alas ...

At least I met my sisters.

That was a rebus so a rebus! But each situation is not in vain and gives experience, certain knowledge.

There were many more different searches. I also had to learn that in the 90s, children were massively given for adoption to America, Italy, Spain, Germany. Many of them would very much like to find their own parents from there. Native blood is calling.

As for the search for adopted children, here everything is much more complicated. From guardianship, it was only possible to find out the date of adoption of the child, and if it was adopted by foreign citizens. The rest is deaf. However, several adopted and adopted children were found, including abroad, thanks to a logical conclusion.

What do colleagues think about these issues? Do you make such requests? And what do you do in such situations?

 

[Олег Юрьевич]

Yelena , there is no common sense in such a “sewing together of severed bonds”. You just do it for your own pleasure - nothing more, i.e. engage in an interesting hobby for which you are also paid). This, in principle, in Jobs (or Confucius?) "Ideal work": "Take care of your favorite thing, and you won’t work a day in your life" . But! Practice proves that the excruciating curiosity of children looking for their "biomam" always leads to unnecessary stress both for them (children) and for foster parents (in the vast majority - good and kind people). No wonder folk wisdom says: " They don’t look for good from good! "And the truth is that the found" mothers "are also overwhelmingly the same types as the" mother "in the story you cited ... Anticipating your (or someone else's) phrases:" It’s not possible for everyone ..., the circumstances are different ...., the adopted person must decide ..., etc. . "I want to remind one more eternal truth:" Well-intentioned paved road to hell " . Therefore, the search for lost family ties is a noble cause. But not in the case of the search for "biomam"!

 

[Yelena]

Let me disagree with you, dear colleague! Mother and child are a single organism, and in any part of the world there is no child left by the mother, he will always be drawn to see her. What about foster parents? Just strangers. Take care, provide. Faced with cases when the adoptive parents offended foster children, one woman complained to me how uncomfortable she was in the foster family, the “father” had an unhealthy interest in her, how embarrassed she was in this situation. A woman who has given birth to a child and abandoned him is a psychologically unhealthy person. Namely, not mentally, but psychologically. The reasons for refusal are various, some repent, start looking for abandoned children. I helped one such mom to find a son, whom she had refused at one time. The boy is still a minor, his mother did not open up to him, but she became calmer when she found out that everything was fine with the child, he was brought up in a good family. Proverbs and sayings, of course, you presented beautiful, but I think they are not at all appropriate in In our case, they are more suitable in other situations, for example, when you do a good deed, and evil is the answer to you. I understand that .. And I think that this activity is not an “interesting hobby” for me, as you say, but a necessary, useful business. Everyone has the right to have an opinion, I write, as I think.

 

[Олег Юрьевич]

Yelena , I was not going to discuss with you on this topic. I answered your question: " What do colleagues think? "So accept my opinion by default, as my inner conviction and position. Whether it coincides with yours or not is not important: the reason for some cynicism of the old cops is not in our" personality deformation ", but in many years of practice - that is, the experience of communication with those you are trying " to understand and to forgive ". On this info-resource (I'm sure), many have the same opinion as mine: cool: Good luck, and take one more wisdom as advice:" Do good and throw it into the water! "and then you don’t have to suffer from how you wrote" ... You’ll do a good deed, and evil will answer you .. . "

 

[Юрий]

If there is a demand, if someone firmly decided to find their relatives, it is not for us to dissuade or educate them.
This is a conscious act of an adult, not causing harm to society.
Moreover, this is a very good practice for a detective.

 

[Олег Юрьевич]

If there is a demand, if someone firmly decided to find their relatives, it is not for us to dissuade or educate them.
This is a conscious act of an adult, not causing harm to society.
Moreover, this is a very good practice for a detective.

Right, Yuri. These tasks were and will be. I had no more than in February this year the following task was completed: a client at 32 wanted to find information about dad / mom. I had a lot of "search". According to the results, the client received, looked, was horrified / crossed herself ... Alas, this is life (And completely with you, Yuri, I agree that "... it's a very good practice for a detective "

 

[Yelena]

Here the question is what other relatives are: sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles. This is also important.

 

[ArthurLatAm]

I can only congratulate you, Elena, for the beautifully done work. Moreover, working with a colleague like Nail Kudashev is a pleasure. In my practice, unfortunately, there were no such cases. More and more wanted by fraudsters and debtors. Generally, in Latin America, relatives take their children, but if the child (from 2 to 5) was adopted, then finding ends is practically impossible. The system itself is designed to protect the rights of adoptive parents and the psychological climate of the child. But if the adopter wants to know the biological parents, the adoptive parents do not make this a secret. In general, our profession is complicated in the sense that we are faced with human destinies, sometimes opening doors that have long been tightly closed by time. And often we are on the verge of a choice, which is very difficult to make.

 

[Частный детектив. Армения. Ереван.]

Elena, good evening.
You are doing a very important job. Finding biological relatives is not a simple matter, and I read your article with great pleasure. I would like, who else had encountered or worked out such orders shared their experience. May be in closed sections.
Elena, thanks again!
I hope to read more of your articles.

 

[Арсен]

Elena, good evening!
I support you completely - you are doing a noble cause, especially when the result is joyful, both for those who are looking and for those who are looking. It is also nice to be proud to talk about the cases and investigations that our Private Detectives are successfully conducting.
I wish you good luck and success in your work.