Private detectives joke

[Hikaru]

Re: Detectives are joking

A secretary is a girl who is paid to learn how to type while she is looking for a husband.

After a corporate game of paintball, the boss is easy to recognize by the fact that he has traces of not only paint, but also butts.

 

[Краев Евгений Леонидович]

Re: Detectives are joking

: lol:

 

[Hikaru]

Re: Detectives are joking

The law of thermodynamics:
As soon as you pour a mug of hot coffee in the office, the boss will call you and hold him until the coffee cools down.

The scariest job is a housewife ...
No salary! There are no days off! There is no vacation! ...
But the work does not end ...

- Petrov, why do we have a single client ?!
- Maybe change the sign?
- What is ours now?
- "Closed".

 

[Краев Евгений Леонидович]

Re: Detectives are joking

: lol:

 

[Hikaru]

Re: Detectives are joking

- Why are you unshaven?
- I grow a beard.
- Grow a beard at home, and at work to come shaved.

- Throw the cigarette out of your mouth!
“This is not a cigarette, chief, this is a pencil.”
- Anyway: you can’t smoke at the workplace, not even a pencil

Head - Secretary:
- Gather all the staff to the meeting, urgently!
- According to the selector?
- No, through Odnoklassniki, so it will be faster !!! : lol:

I am looking for work in the office. During the checks I can eat any documentation : lol:

 

[Hikaru]

Re: Detectives are joking

A man comes to get a job at a distillery as a taster, and he is told: - Sorry, but we have enough of our alcoholics
Is he:
- No, I don’t drink, I sniff.
“It cannot be!”
- Yes, seriously, I do not lie.
- We’ll check it now.
They gave him a glass of wine, he sniffed and said:
- 1946 Bastordo Wine 25 degrees
They gave another wine:
- And this is Cleopatra, 1961, but carries the barrel with mice.
Then they decided to make fun of him and gave him a couple of drops of secretary's urine, he sniffed importantly and said:
- Carbohydrates 20, sugar 35, 4th month of pregnancy to say from whom?
Director yells:
- Do not take !!! : lol:: lol:: lol:

 

[чингиз]

Re: Detectives are joking

good joke

 

[Андрей Захаров]

Re: Detectives are joking

The same could be said of detectives ... Especially private ...

 

[Hikaru]

Re: Detectives are joking

: lol:: lol:: lol:

 

[Hikaru]

Re: Detectives are joking

He loved smoking in the workplace. He was about to be fired by the director of the dynamite factory. But did not have time ...

At work, the chef:
- Petrov, you are fired!
- Fired ?! I thought slaves were selling ...

I wrote my resume ... I printed it ... I re-read it ... I burst into tears ... It's a shame, damn it, to give such a person to work!